The police was still far away but she was very scared. I told her to get deeper in the water. Our clothes near the shore were just few and just our noses stack out of the water. I must admit I was scared too and I started thinking of how to solve this. The police kept going straight against the current though and we felt super relieved. We kept fucking afterward because my dick was still in her and it was all so exciting. Later I was told that swimming there was very dangerous because of underflow and that the dirty smell you sometimes smell in the city came from the river. Thank God we have showers and I didn’t really go against my feeling of going deep in the river.
When I got home I checked if I had some Tinder matches. I had around 8 and I was very excited about half of them. Here I start worrying though. I don’t really know how to get women on a date very quickly. And we also just had 4 days left. I decide to ask them out quickly but no one replied. Also all my numbers hadn’t replied, except for the tattooed girl. I made a date with her but she would later flake on me.
This time we went nightgaming and I explain the guys how to pull a girl to the toilet. The toilets there were perfect. But later, I get in my head and I cannot approach, everyone else is approaching but I’m stifled like a blinded rabbit. I was warmed up though, just had some AA. When I told Tamás he took my hand and put it on the shoulder of a girl that I wanted. Good wing. She was Slovenian and was in a big group with men and women alike. She actually took my hand to lead me away at some point, towards the toilets. I didn’t kiss her by then and her frame was very strong and playful so I started playing hard to get on autopilot. This was very wrong. When I kissed her I felt that the polarity was missing and I lost her short after. Later when I wanted to reapproach her I got rejected by her and pushed away by her male friends.
The dance floor is like a jungle. Danger lurks in every corner. Disguised as partytime and a release of work pressure for other people while for us this adds up and can be very fatiguing.
I start feeling my belly hurt and my mouth is dry. I meet Nicolò in the club who is lone wolfing again. He tells me he feels sick too and we decide to go out for food for him and to buy cigarettes for me.
We see a two set sitting. They were a bit older and had a lot of make up. Nicolò whispers in my ear that they are hookers. I love hookers and the idea of picking one up without paying. Have some deep pillow talk with them to get to know their lives and maybe leave them better then I found her in some way. Like Mystery used to say. They are impossible to stop in Amsterdam so I stay in set. These women were full of shit though. Dodging my questions as much as they could. We walked with one of them a bit. I felt so much incongruence from her part that I decided to just go in for the kiss to get this over with. She rejected me and walked away. I felt relieved.
Later when we sat on a terras with some food and a drink for me I push Nicolò to approach the girl working there. He goes for it and I say to myself that he’s a boss. Most people on the terras look at him but he doesn’t give up. When the girl gives up we walk back and see a couple of drunk people. One of them is a super small freckled blonde with white eyebrows and no make up. She looks a bit like an angel, drunk and is surprisingly heavy for her size. Or maybe it was because of the bag of alcohol she had around her shoulders but other then that she looked devine. I go in very enthusiastically and kiss her after 2 minutes in front of her friends and get her number. Later I ask myself why I got her number. I probably had a good reason but I couldn’t remember. My mind is probably not ready for after parties at our apartment yet because of all the toilet pulls I had in my life. I never saw this girl anymore because she got the flu. The connection was there and it’s really easier afterward if she just ignores your texts but not taking action where you should have feels frustrating. Embrace this frustration. It’s your priceless lesson for the future.
The next day I was with my new girlfriend. The girl from the mall. I made some dinner for her while all the others were out picking up others. I taught her how to make Béchamel sauce and created some French Mac and Cheese. But before eating it we were having sex and took a bath afterward. In the bath we talked until the water had the same temperature as our bodies. I had previously told her that I had a girlfriend in Amsterdam, prior to having sex with her but that was just because it was a long walk to a quiet spot near the water. Today we were in water again and the conversation proceeded. I told her about my ideas to be a datingcoach and that choosing for monogamy is ridiculous. And how is was going to bring two communities together as I saw how they could learn from each other. She seemed to understand everything I told her because of my enthusiasm and speed of my replies to her questions. This felt more fulfilling to me then the sex we had. Even though she had been riding me like a pornstar. The satisfaction that I got by seeing her eyes lit up when I gave her certain answers to difficult questions made me feel very connected to her. I wanted more of this. I wanted to blow her mind and give her all I could give her, like she had given me all that she could and had trusted me with it.
That night the guys were out and I stayed with my girl. I’d had a discussion with Nicolo earlier about working on relationships or going out and working on consistency. It was a heated one and it felt more like we were just talking to ourselves. Justifying our behavior to ourselves, like we always do. It was a good thing Tamás and Erdal never interfered, not feeding our painbodies. Our 5 days stay was really awesome. The vibe and the team composition was perfect. It felt like we were the perfect team according to Jung’s archetypes. Maybe it was just the enthusiasm of holiday, but I’ve had a lot worse in the past.
The next day we all went out to a bathhouse but we never got in. We went for yet another massive sarging session instead. We never got inside the bathhouse because there were no hot girls around. Same for the zoo. We went to the square of heroes where we had some good fun. Then we split up again. Some of us on dates, others lone wolfing. Erdal and me ended up in a castle. And when we came home late in the evening Nicolò still wasn’t home. We were trying to do a powernap for the night session when we heard the door banging and a girl giggling downstairs.